


Father's Day

by Fenris



Series: Crimebusters AU [3]
Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-25
Updated: 2011-06-25
Packaged: 2017-10-20 17:45:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/215420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fenris/pseuds/Fenris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little hairball of fluff and crack coughed up by the Crimebusters HQ AU, in honor of Father's Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Father's Day

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the same Crimebusters alternate universe as Damn Paparazzi and An Easy Tell, where the Crimebusters actually happened and they have a headquarters, just like the Minutemen did.
> 
> In this particular take on the Crimebusters AU, a few things happened differently; Hollis publishes Under the Hood in the late 70s instead of in 1962. And at that fateful first Crimebusters meeting, the Comedian wasn't quite as drunk or feeling quite as mean as he was in the GN. Which means that he had enough smarts on board to keep his mouth shut during Nelson's presentation, realizing that if the Crimebusters happened it meant he'd get to see his daughter on a regular basis.
> 
> *looks at fic…*
> 
> I…I can't believe I wrote Comedian schmoop. I just feel dirty now. Here, share my shame.

Sitting cross-legged on the common room couch, Laurie sighs and twists her hair into a messy French knot, shoving a couple of pencils through it to anchor it in place. She's not using the pencils for anything remotely academic; they might as well hold her hair up.

The phone rings on the other side of the common room. After waiting a few moments to see if someone else is going to materialize and answer it, Laurie groans, gets up, and pads barefoot across the room to pick up.

"Hello?"

There's silence on the other end. Laurie silently counts to five Mississippis. Just before she hangs up, a rusty voice on the other end of the line clears its throat.

" _Hrn_. Miss Jupiter."

 _Oh, joy_ , she thinks. _The shithead._

Rorschach is high on her naughty list right now. Laurie's still stinging from the loudly negative and insulting comments he expressed in front of everyone two nights ago regarding her mother's new, more vivid, mascara-heavy makeup scheme for Laurie which evidently makes her look like a tramp (she's pretty sure he was actually going to say "whore" until Nite Owl coughed loudly and pointedly behind him in mid-diatribe). The fact that deep down she agrees with him doesn't really help.

"What do _you_ want?"

She prides herself that her voice is impressively cool and disdainful. It seems, though, that such subtlety is lost on Rorschach because he sounds no different when he responds.

"Is Nite Owl still there?"

Laurie considers telling him that the Twilight Lady stopped by to pick him up and they're off 'having a late supper' together, but decides against it because she doesn't want the lecture on maturity she'll get later on from Dan after a furious Rorschach rakes him over the coals.

"Yeah, hang on. DAN!!!!!!!"

She belts out the name at the top of her lungs, phone still held right next to her mouth, hoping the receiver on the other end is still up against Rorschach's ear. A faint clatter on the other end of the line sounds like he at least bobbled the handset if not dropped it outright and she grins happily, mission accomplished.

There's a faint response from down the hall and a few moments later Dan strides into the room all tricked out as Nite Owl, obviously ready to roll. Laurie feels a pang of jealousy because there'll be no patrolling for her tonight. Her mother has made it clear that her grades need to improve and there's a big Civics studies test at school tomorrow.

Even though it's only the truth, she hates these real life reminders of how much younger she is than the other Crimebusters. The person who's closest to her in age is Dan and he's ten years older than her, a college graduate. (She has no idea how young or old Rorschach might be, but she assumes he's at least Dan's age or older. He _sounds_ older.)

But the fact remains that at this point high school is a distant memory for Dan and to the others it's ancient history. And here she is in her junior year, very much aware that the others probably look on her as something of a sidekick or a little sister; or possibly even just a decorative mascot.

Feeling grumpy and unjustly shit upon by life in general, she hands the phone over to Dan, saying, "It's the wife."

He rolls his eyes (but smiles at her anyway, which is actually kind of annoying) as he takes the phone, shaking his head. Then she's completely forgotten as his attention focuses on the man at the other end of the line.

"Hey buddy, I'm just getting ready to leave. Where are you?"

Laurie goes to the kitchen and filches a bottle of Coke from Rorschach's stash at the back of the refrigerator. Then she returns to the couch and her scattered books, picking back up where she'd left off in her textbook on American legislative structure and legal procedures.

She's also eavesdropping on Dan's half of his conversation with Rorschach, which is turning out to be not all that interesting, at least on this side. It's mostly stuff that sounds related to the minor drug ring they're currently investigating.

Laurie scoffs at herself. _What did you think Dan was going to discuss with him, whether they're going to play 'The Monk and the Novice' or 'Interrogate the Spy' after patrol, or just go straight for the bondage? Get a grip, girl, and start studying!_

Laurie glares at the textbook, but finally acknowledges that it's not going to study itself no matter how much she stares it down. She sighs and starts on the next chapter.

The Comedian drifts in from the hallway and slows to a halt behind the couch. He leans down over Laurie's shoulder as she takes a sip of Coke. "What'cha doin', Princess?"

She pulls a disgusted face and points to the title of the book. "I have a civics test tomorrow on legislation and law, and I haven't studied for it _at all_. I'm so dead; Mom is going to kill me if I bring home another D."

"Oh yeah? Well, we can't have that. Lemme see that for a minute."

She hands him the textbook and sighs, taking another healthy slug of her stolen Coke. It's almost gone and it's entirely possible that she's going to have to get up and go steal another one in a few minutes. Dan's rich; he can afford to buy his boyfriend another six-pack of soda.

Speaking of whom, the business portion of Dan's phone conversation seems to be winding down. His voice changes; deepens and becomes a bit husky. Laurie's concentration shifts from the Comedian back to Nite Owl.

"You got it. I'll be there in about half an hour."

That's evidently not the end of the conversation. Dan continues to listen without speaking. A flush creeps up his cheeks and a goofy grin spreads across his face. "Yeah, of course. I know, I know." The tone of his voice drops a little more and a dark warmth creeps into it. "I am too." A pause, then he chuckles. "You'll find out when I get there."

The Comedian is observing this along with Laurie and as Dan grins again and says, "Yeah. Me too", he leans down and whispers in her ear, "No, _you_ hang up first."

She chokes and does a spit-take, coughing as she inhales a mouthful of Coke. The look of equal parts concern, embarrassment, and suspicion that Dan immediately levels at her just does her in and she bursts out laughing. He says something terse, then hangs up the phone and faces them, looking suspicious. "What's so funny?"

Laurie's laughing too hard to answer; she just shakes her head and waves her hands in a 'nothing, nothing at all' gesture. The Comedian shrugs and gives Dan his best shit-eating grin. "Not a thing, Owly."

Dan sighs and obviously decides that this is all beneath him. He looks at the Comedian and pointedly straightens his goggles with his middle finger. "Right. I'm out of here. Goodnight."

Not trusting her voice, Laurie waves at Dan as he leaves. The Comedian snorts and makes a vague farewell gesture with his cigar. Still chortling, Laurie looks up at him and attempts a frown. "You know, Eddie, you're really kind of a jerk to him."

"Really? I am?" He laughs at her raised eyebrow and drops the fake innocence. "Ah, he just begs for it, you know? No sense a' humor. Anyway, you were the one laughing at him, not me."

She grins back at him for a moment, then groans and holds out her hand for the book. "Here, give it back. I need to learn these chapters. Otherwise I'm going to look like a complete French-fried doofus when the only thing I get right on the test tomorrow is my name."

Instead of handing the book back to her he flips through the chapter, then glances at the table of contents. Taking a drag off his cigar, he moves around the couch to sit down next to her.

"You know this stuff's not so hard. Come on, I've got a few hours before I have to head out, I'll give you a hand with it."

"Yeah?" She can't help but look dubious. He sees it and laughs at her.

"Hey, princess, I'm not just a pretty face. I spend a lot of time in Washington, I pick stuff up, you know?"

And as absurd as that is on the face of it, he turns out to be as good as his word. He's amazingly knowledgeable, especially about criminal law, and patiently walks her through the basics of procedural law and criminal and civil procedures.

Then they move on to substantive law. He covers criminal, contract, and tort laws, using stories and real-life examples that make things stick in her mind far better than they would if she'd read them out of one of those dry textbooks and Laurie takes notes and starts to think that maybe she has a shot at passing this damn test tomorrow after all.

The Comedian's obviously enjoying playing teacher; gesturing expansively with his cigar as he talks and looking absurdly self-satisfied whenever Laurie cracks up over one of his stories.

Watching him, she wonders what the heck her mother's deal is with the Comedian and why she unfailingly loses her mind if Laurie ever wants to stay overnight at the Crimebusters headquarters when he's in residence there. She wonders sometimes if her mom might be worried about him coming on to her or something, which is just gross because he's easily old enough to be her dad.

But Laurie's not worried about it because she just knows he's not really like that. Not at all. And besides, he's never so much as even hinted at having _that_ kind of an interest in her. Without fail, he's always nice to Laurie, treating her like a favorite niece.

Okay sure, she's heard him make some skeevy comments about hookers and some of the women they've rescued, but Laurie figures it's all just talk and swagger to keep up his macho image. And Laurie remembers vividly the time that he jumped in and beat the snot out of this guy they'd apprehended, just because he made a filthy comment to her.

Laurie really thinks of him the same way she does of Hollis; as her uncle---only the Comedian is the fun, shady uncle who'll sneak her into a bar for her first beer or teach her how to play poker or bet on the ponies, whereas Hollis is the nice clean-cut uncle who sometimes takes her out to dinner and teaches her how to drive a car and carries an obvious unrequited torch for her mother.

From the way the Comedian talks about Laurie's mom, though, Mason's not the only one with that problem. Whatever hard feelings exist between her mother and Eddie, it's obvious that they're all on her mother's side.

 _I don't know what Mom's problem with him is, but it's her problem, not mine._

Laurie yawns and stretches, shutting her notebook and pulling the pencils out of her hair, which spills down around her shoulders as she shakes it out.

"Thanks, Eddie! You're really good at this; you should be a history professor or something."

He waves her praise off. "Think nothing of it kiddo. My pleasure."

"Well, you're a lifesaver. I was going to have to stay up all night studying." Then she smacks her forehead and groans dramatically. "Argh, I forgot! Tomorrow is Father's Day. I'm going to have to stop on the way to school tomorrow and get a card or something for Larry, the big jerk."

He frowns at her. "What's the matter, old Larry not treating you right?" There's a flash of something darker that dances across his face as he says it and his eyes narrow a little.

She makes a face at him. "No, nothing like that. Larry's all right. We just don't have anything in common, you know? That's all. I guess we never really bonded, or some stupid shit like that."

He goes kind of quiet at that, puffing on his cigar and looking contemplative. And before she can think better of it Laurie asks him something she's wondered about more than once.

"Hey Eddie, do you have any kids?"

He looks shifty for a moment and takes another long drag from his cigar, obviously buying a few seconds to think. It's the closest to being flustered that she's ever seen him. Then he shrugs and says, "Yeah, I got a daughter. She'd be about your age now."

"Oh." Laurie wonders what the daughter of the Comedian might look like. "So, does she live around here? Do you ever see her, or you know…" Laurie thinks for a moment about her friend Karen in school whose parents are divorced, "do you have, like, visitation days with her?"

Looking increasingly ill at ease, he shakes his head and drawls, "Nah, I don't see her. Me and her mother don’t exactly see eye to eye on a lot of things, and that's one of them."

He's obviously uncomfortable now and Laurie suddenly feels bad for him. "That's really sad, Eddie. I'm sorry."

For a moment he looks unhappy, then he shakes it off and smiles at her. "Aah, don't worry little girl. Such is life in the big corral, you know? Sometimes the joke's on you."

Laurie gets up off the couch, then turns and smiles fondly at him. "Thanks, Eddie. I mean it, you were a really big help to me. Because of you I'm probably going to pass this stupid test now." She starts to pick up her books, then bends down to impulsively kiss his cheek. "Happy Father's Day."

His cheek is all stubbly and smells faintly of leather, aftershave, and cigar smoke; a very _male_ smell (nothing like the way Larry smells). Laurie decides that she likes it.

He looks startled and stares at her as his hand comes up to touch his cheek where she kissed him. Laurie self-consciously shifts from one foot to the other, already feeling a little embarrassed and shrugs, saying, "I figured since your daughter wasn't here, I'd stand in for her."

His expression goes from startled to blank, then his face softens and for a moment there's a weird, gentle look there that she's never seen before. "Thanks, kiddo."

She grins at him. "Who knows, maybe when she grows up she'll come and find you, you know?"

He snorts, and she can hear both bitterness and a hint of wistfulness in his answer. "Who knows? Maybe she will."

He gets up, stretches, and shakes himself like a dog shedding water. And like that, the vulnerability Laurie thinks she saw in his face is gone, replaced by his usual air of smirking amusement. He picks up the rest of her books and says, "I still got some time to kill. You want a ride into town to pick up a card or something for ol' Larry? Maybe we can go for something fattening after that, like an ice cream."

She grins at him. "Can we go for a beer instead?"

He laughs and ushers her out the door.


End file.
